Twenty years ago at a youth development programme I was asked what two words would describe me; “no regrets,” was my reply.
Since then that has been the way in which I have tried to live, like Frank Sinatra, with “too few to mention.” Obviously there have been a lot of mistakes and foolish words with ill advised actions thrown into the mix that has been the batter of my life.
Nobody gets through without the odd blunder.
Maybe there is something about a rainy Monday and jazz with your morning coffee that provokes thoughts like these; or maybe, as if on cue, Elvis is singing “My way” in my ear as shuffle selects the playlist.
It could just be that we had a fantastic weekend of family celebration; there was good food (a lot of food) laughter, tears, surprises and happy memories made. It feels like it has way more than just three days since I was here at work; I like weekends like that where we truly engage and love every minute. Finding the ability to slow time and enjoy it has been one of the greatest gifts that I have received this last year.
I was always the person who was one hour ahead to the next thing and never fully enjoying anything. It has dawned on me today that for the last three days I enjoyed almost everything we did. There had been a crazy amount of pre-planning involved to coordinate everyone to be at a surprise party with the required items and timing; it all went perfectly, lists ticked, food bought and prepared and no apologies for not arriving. It was just one of those events and weekends that worked, and I am relieved.
Anyone who reads these posts with any regularity will know that music lyrics are a great inspiration to me; I have loved music of all kinds my whole life and some of my best memories are intrinsically linked with good and bad songs. A couple of years ago the song by Adele from which the title is taken was heavy on my mind for weeks, but in a positive sense.
This morning that line from the final verse was rattling around in my mind. For too many reasons that I don’t want to go into I have long been positively inspired by negative events to live in such a way that I will not find myself hurtling down the highway of regret.
Not everyone is naturally a risk taker, in my childhood I was always the one holding back from jumping, or climbing or any number of other things. But in my teenage years a shift took place and I began slowly pushing limits in myself; of the many decisions my wife and I have made over the years there are some that just didn’t work, some failed and many more succeeded.
What is the worst that could happen? She/he says no, you lose money or a house? We behave as if that was the end of the world, but when all the years in your glass have run through like the sand in the hourglass, it won’t be the security of a full bank account that comforts you; it will be the knowledge that you lived out what was given to you and that your bag of gifts is empty.